Los Cafeteros

Location: Aruba

Order: Sweet plantain stuffed with cheese, “Seafood” grouper (grilled grouper topped with seafood sauce), Columbian beans (red beans with cubes pork, plantain chunks, and ground beef)

Price: $36

Positives: The Columbian beans (it’s an entree), good price, they kept our water full (yep, getting refills on water requires enough work that not having to ask for it is a positive LOL)

Negatives: It was absurdly cold in there, unfortunately the seafood wasn’t great

tldr: Good, not great (except for the Columbian beans)

Thoughts: Ok, we’ve finally figured out how to find the places that have “cheaper” food, and honestly, it’s still not cheap, it just won’t make you wonder if you’re going to run out of money before you get off the island. Find restaurants where the prices as listed in florins rather than US. I honestly don’t know why we didn’t figure this out or read it somewhere but its spot on. I think it may also be a sign of where the locals eat, anyway we’re here for the food.

Los Cafatereos is 100% a Columbian restaurant, from the way they decorate inside to their menu selection. You can find quite a few things that I only saw on one other menu (also Columbian), from cows’ tongue to a part of a pig I couldn’t pronounce. The menu definitely takes some interpreting if you aren’t fluent in Spanish, but we had a wonderful waitress who was willing to put up with my 20 questions about the differences between all those dishes that started with Pisca de grouper ___________. She also pointed us to a few of her favorites, which is how I ended up eating the best bowl of beans in my life, but more on that later.

After our round of “what exactly is this thing” questions we ordered a sweet plantain stuffed with cheese, Columbian beans, and seafood style grouper (isn’t grouper a type of seafood? how do you make a seafood in a seafood style? how is all grouper not already seafood style?….I was clearly confused). The plantain was unique, and while it was actually very good, I’m not sure I’d order it again. The consistency of the squishy plantain and chewy cheese wasn’t quiet was I was looking for. The taste was definitely there but the consistency just didn’t do it for me.

Next up was the seafood grouper (I just can’t get over this name) but at least we kinda figured out what it meant. The grouper was baked I think and topped with a medley of other bits of seafood in a white sauce. I honestly have no idea what kind of seafood was in that sauce, I’m pretty sure it was just bits of all sorts of stuff and I didn’t see a whole piece of anything really. Neither of us were very big fans of this dish. The grouper itself was fairly plain. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t good either, it sat comfortably in the “meh” territory. The seafood on top of the grouper was odd, I definitely think they boiled the sauce for a long time because the piece of octopus I found in there has the consistency of a tire. I may have chewed it for a solid 30 seconds before finally just swallowing. There was plenty of sort of slimy stuff too, I think some muscles maybe, and possibly an eye? The point it the dish definitely isn’t for the squeamish and wasn’t honestly that good.

The beans though….The dish that honestly blew me away was the Columbian beans. I think that may have been because my expectations weren’t that high (I mean, they’re beans right?) but I really do think this dish was amazing and a must try if you never have. It starts with super flavorful red beans that are topped with firm plantains (not cooked to the normal mushy deliciousness), ground beef, and cubed pork. The beef had amazing seasoning and the pork was close to perfect. There were a few pieces that were just straight fat but otherwise the pork was crispy, flavorful and melt in your mouth good. All together this dish was killer good and worth coming here for on its own.

So, as you can tell I’m a bit mixed in Los Cafeterios, I loved the Columbian bean and would absolutely come here just for them. On the other hand, the seafood wasn’t that good, and I definitely wouldn’t order it again. I think I’d say you should go if you like Columbian food and stuck with ordering that over anything else.